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Talking to Your Child about Adoption

When people decide to adopt infants or toddlers, they often worry about how to discuss the situation when their children become older. Is it best to let all children think they are biologically related to their parents? If not, when should they be told the truth, and how? Even with the many resources available to adoptive families today, determining the answers to these questions can be a struggle.

With all of the complications that can accompany adoption, the last thing you need as an adoptive parent is legal troubles. Our experienced Raleigh divorce lawyer can work to protect your rights at every stage of the adoption process. To learn more, call the law offices of Marshall & Taylor PLLC at (919) 833-1040.

Tips for Discussing Adoption

Explaining a child’s adoption to him or her is a very personal matter that every family will handle a little differently. However, there are certain pieces of advice that are consistently offered by many professionals in this field. A few basic tips include:

  • Tell your child the truth. It may seem like hiding the truth about the adoption will help your child feel more included in the family, or less “different” from classmates. However, there are many ways in which your child may learn the truth on his or her own. This discovery can badly damage your relationship with your child, perhaps irreparably.
  • Follow your child’s lead. There is some debate over the age at which children should learn they are adopted. Some experts say children should be told in different ways from infancy, while others believe it is better to wait until the child is four or so – old enough to understand some of the details. You know your child best, so trust your instincts on his or her ability to process this information.
  • Present information gradually. Discussing your child’s adoption will not be one conversation that is never repeated. He or she will have many questions as he or she gets older and is able to understand more. You can keep your explanations very simple at first, then deal with questions and your child’s varying emotions as they come.

There is no evidence that knowing one is adopted somehow damages a child, as long as the subject is discussed openly and presented in a positive way. Just remember to focus on the positive in these conversations: how happy you are to have found your child, and how much you love him or her.

Contact a Raleigh Adoption Attorney

Of course, children are not the only ones who have questions about adoption. If you would like more information about adoption laws, contact the Raleigh adoption lawyers of Marshall & Taylor PLLC at (919) 833-1040.